Jan 06 2009
Adverts, accents and austerity
Before getting into the advertising aspect of todays blog, I would like to mention a tv show that has been shown over the last two evenings - ‘Above Suspicion’ written by Lynda La Plante. For anyone who missed it, the show was a drama about a woman officer, whose father had been a detective, joining a team of detectives investigating a serial killer. She falls for one of the two suspects, the other turns out to have an alibi, and her man is the killer. Yes, it was dross. However, for fans of BBC3s ‘Ideal’, who may be missing characters like Moz and Cartoon Head, it was great to hear that Psycho Paul’s accent had found a new job. Yes, the suave, debonnaire serial killer turned into an evil Manc when arrested, and the actor had clearly no idea what a Mancunian sounds like, so copied our Psycho’s accent. Tremendously hilarious.
Now to the serious matter of the ‘World of Advertising’, which I have had a passing interest in, especially since my drug and alcohol addled days of the 80s, when my staff and I designed a tv ad for a car and emailled it to several firms. Six months later our idea was realised and we were paid, though we had by that time forgotten doing it!
I’m worried for Myleene Klass, who seems to have started working for Pantene, moonlighting from her day job with M&S. Today, M&S have confirmed that the figures they are to release tomorrow are going to be disappointing, and that 1,000 jobs are at risk. Are Myleene and her friends (will Twiggy ever find another job?) included? Where will ‘Take That’ spend Christmas next year? Will that lighthouse have to close?
Myleene and Twiggy are not the only stars whose futures may not be as rosey as they had hoped. What about ‘Happy’? He has only just returned to Norwich Union (remember ‘Happy’s back!’?) and now they’re becoming Aviva, but no-one seems to have told him. No more chocolate biscuits, no more NU, no more Happy! It makes me sad.
Just how memorable is Nicole Kidman? After 5 years visiting and dancing with the same bloke on the roof of the Chanel building, he still doesn’t know who she is? Will Iceland keep ‘Mother of the Year’ winner (twice!!!) Kerry Katona in work, now she’s an alcoholic? Strangely, in Hale near Altrincham, the Iceland store was frequently a gathering point for Special Brew consuming locals, so perhaps that why Mums gone there. Has anyone ever considered that maybe it’s not Maybelline?
Woolworths employed Jackie Chan, but even eastern mysticism and martial arts couldn’t save them, and today their final stores closed, in their centennary year.
So why do companies waste hundreds of thousands of pounds on celebs in advertising? Look at the alternatives. Take public participation; Pringles have launched a new range of crisps, and there is a young woman who just can’t get her head around the concept of crisps in a bag! Where the devil has she been since birth? Crisps in bags are not new, profound or exciting. ‘Nice n Easy’ woman - just buy the bleeding shoes!
Oh well, I guess I shoudn’t really complain. If it wasn’t for trite and contrived adverts designed for the brain dead, there would only be government and comparison website adverts, and charities trying to morally extort money from me.
That reminds me. Did anyone else find the weirdo advertising a comparison website with the phrase ‘Look what I’ve got on my computer’, a bit unnerving? Why did I suspect that the answer was paedophile porn? Possibly the strange look on his face and his squirmy manner. I think I was not the only person who found him disquietening, as that ad seems to have disappeared.
My advice to ad companies is simple; a catchy eighties tune and young kids splashing in puddles wearing wellies.
Have fun everyone, and try to keep warm.
