adrenochrome

Dear reader

 It is that time of the year when the rain and overcast cold becomes more than my ricketty old bones can handle. Hence, tomorrow afternoon, your correspondent shall be jetting off to Alicante, for a whole week. I shall, however, leave you with a few points to consider whilst awaiting my return.

 1/ If the government anticipates the recession to have bottomed out by June and the economy to be growing from July, why are the DWP recruiting large numbers of people on 18month contracts? Could this reflect that government rhetoric and reality are differing?

2/ Will I be deported for supporting Basque seperatism?

 3/ Will the Rt Hon Gerald Kaufman forgive me for not mentioning that he is in fact Sir Gerald Kaufman? I suspect he will.

4/ If 40 is the new 30, and silver the new black, what will replace the satsuma?

5/ Is Nietsche’s ‘Superman’ resistant to Kryptonite?

6/ Why, oh why, is telly going back 30 years - ‘Gladiators’ on Sky, ‘Minder’ on Five, etc?

Well, that should keep you in deep contemplation till my return, with tales of the Med, Spaniards and paella. Have a good week.

Happy new year one and all.

A new year, yet some things never change. As  Channel4 continues to spiral into bankruptcy, another series of Big Brother is being planned and the ‘celebrity’ special gets underway. Novelly, they have chosen 3 ex Boy/girl band members, a topless model, and, a batch of Americans, plus some middle-aged has-beens. The American rapper spot has gone to Coolio, a one hit wonder to British audiences. For the freak role, and probably undoing all the good that Jermaine did for the family last year, is La Toya Jackson. As a scouser reflects all that is common, ugly and derisable to the Middle England TV Producer sect, we have an ex-Brookside actress, she does at least still have a career, in the award winning ‘Shameless’, though I don’t watch it myself. Throw in an obscure Scottish MP (Scottish Parliament) from George Galloways stock - and wasn’t CBB just the high point of George’s career, as anyone remembering the lycra and cat impression will billiously recall. Ulrika Jonsson needs little introduction, having many failed careers and partners behind her - with four children by different fathers, famous relationships with married men, and no real job since being a weather girl, she should have been cast in ‘Shameless’ herself.

That leaves the last two places, and the two contestants who may actually entice me to tune in when at a complete and utter loose end - Terry Christian and Verne Troyer. Verne is already the bookies favourite, which is hardly surprising, as my mother always reminded me - great things come in little packages. Whilst diminuitive in stature and having a real cuteness factor, Verne has already shown that he will not be bemused by the British sense of humour, as many Americans are, but has had the advantage of working closely with British born Mike Myers on several film projects, and has always seemed down-to-earth in interviews. Terry is a Mancunian, who revels in his straight-talking northern credentials, and reminds me a little of myself (he’s not as sage and wise as I).

No doubt the tabloid press will be setting aside page after page for any titbit from the show, magnifying the bland, sensationalizing the stupid, and, discussing breasts (especially the ‘News of the World’). Fortunately, it will all soon be over and forgotten about. Can anyone remind me of the original celebrities who first entered the Aussie jungle, and where they are now? I thought not.

2009 and it’s already a re-run.